Choosing to try again

By Lindiwe

Hey guys! Happy new month, I hope this month brings you all love, peace and happiness.🌺✨


So listen, I know I’ve been gone for way too long. It’s been a few weeks since I had last put out ANYTHING.


But in all honesty these last few weeks have been significantly harder for me than any time in my life. I was always extremely anxious and all I wanted to do was just sleep and live in my shell with as little social interaction as possible.

I could never find it in me to be consistent with anything including doing all the things I loved. Everyday was gloomy, same routine, same feeling, same demotivation, same dark hole.


And honestly, I don’t know a worst time in my life than this one. Waking up and feeling drained and motionless after 8 hours of sleep was hell. Walking a different route to the mall so you don’t meet anybody you know because they’ll know something wrong with you is hell. Constantly ignoring self reflection because you’re scared of what you’ll realise about yourself is hell. Listen, it was hell. It was an emotional rollercoaster.


But as I’m writing this at this moment I’m okay, stepping into everyday easy and some days are better than others. I’ve blogged before about how having a routine can be helpful and I’m following my own advice again.
It’s been 5 days since I decided I want to take an active step in changing how I feel and how I live through each day. I’m getting better at helping myself realise my toxic traits and how I can change them, I’ve gotten better at scripting my manifestations
I’d say this a good space, a breath of fresh air.

The next step with a new step. letting myself know everyday that I’m worthy and every situation is a lesson and not a personal attack on the self. Getting myself know that I’m not alone, I am surrounded by love and constant abundance. That disappearing and being emotionally unavailable is okay, that maybe in that time you are watering yourself into a new path in your life.


If you’re like me or even feeling something close to what I’m feeling, know that you’re not alone. You are loved, you are the light, your feelings are valid, the days will get better and know that flowers also bloom in the darkness as much as they do in the light.


We will be okay.🌱

Healing Remedy: Poetry

BY LINDIWE

I have been into literature since I had been in high school, I never really minded it nor had I ever thought I’d want to be a writer/blogger/poet by the time I’m in my twenties… and the first book that changed all of that was “the perks of being a wallflower”.

I remember reading the book and 16 year old me was starstruck. I don’t know which one had the most impact on me, falling in love with words perfectly written or that this book could help 16 year old me heal and realise that sometimes being an outcast was okay, that sometimes It’s okay to get stuck on words because your mind keeps racing. The book made me feel okay and accepted.

So I started writing, I wrote poetry, screenplays, I tried write a book (but I really had no patience with that). I never got to see them through because I had never ever intended to share them with other people but the more I wrote, I always felt free – I felt unjudged and so whole. And that’s how words became my healing. My healing became summarising my hurt on a poem with my heart aching and tears running down my face as gut wrenching as this may sound but it felt good. It felt good finding a safe space to turn your misfortunes and mental challenges to art, to your art.

This is how my life has been put together in and out of these slumps. I’d put off writing until my life feels like a nightmare again(I should really stop doing that) but I love the feeling I get when I start reconnecting with my heart once more. I love the feeling of reassuring myself through words that I too am enough – even when I hardly believe it. I love the feeling of getting lost in my thoughts and I write a poem that relieves me off my misery.

I guess what I wanted to say in this blog is that I love writing, I love poetry and I love words and my art has gotten me to a point where I’m so comfortable with being vulnerable in it with everyone without being ashamed of it and this has really changed the way I feel and do things.

So now let’s talk, what’s your favourite thing that you love doing that makes you feel brand new everytime?

Self Realizations: Poetry

By Lindiwe

It’s so beautiful for me to see myself pick up pieces of myself that I never thought I would

It’s so heartwarming to see myself being kinder and more patient with myself With every act of this generous gesture to myself

I fall in love with myself, over and over again

conversations i should have with myself more often

Sweetest Thing

By Lindiwe


You glaze at me with your perfect eyes
I’m wondering exactly what are you looking at
Because you see the world that has become in me
And my thoughts are filled with faults I’ve never forgiven myself for
“I love you” you said
How are you so at peace with somebody who’s not at peace with themselves?

Just a reminder

By Lindiwe


It’s been a couple of months since our lives have been turned upside down by this pandemic and having is adjust to changes quickly so we can cope with the new normal.


I haven’t been blogging lately because online learning is my biggest nightmare and also I’m just lazy, I won’t even deny it lol.


But I must admit even though I’ve been more “productive” I have been feeling out of place lately,completely withdrawn from reality and completely unmotivated to do anything. So basically the past few weeks my body has been just carrying me and I found myself back to my happy place again, here on this blog.


I’m not here to say much but that we should continue to try to the best we can during this time,do things that make us happy, do the things that make us happy until we cry, do things that expose our true raw selves.

That we should enhance our talents and abilities to remind ourselves that we move with tender unique purpose.


You are loved, you are beauty, you are golden and each day is another chance given to you for a purpose.
You are cared for, you are important and loved.


Remember that, because I am writing this for the both of us, live and feel every moment

  • A note to myself and to you.

Take care and be well

Get ready to start

By Lindiwe

Hey guys, I’m finally back from a long two weeks of online tests and I must say being back feels great!


I have been thinking lately about starting a new journey and take up something that might have better and stronger opportunities for me; and I told myself to just start. That’s what matters to just start right?


Often times we are told to follow our dreams and ambitions and it all sounds to easy on the surface, especially when you face challenges like money constrains, the environment you’re in doesn’t allow for your content creation and also time.
That’s what I’ve been facing, and it has been very demotivating and sometimes I want to throw it all away.


But then I remember why I wanted to start, why it occupied my mind so much that I wanted to start.


Purpose. When you start you must have purpose, purpose of what you want for yourself, purpose of where you’d love to see yourself in 5 years. Being insightful of your underlying purpose can help you out of situations where you’d feel like just dropping everything because of the challenges you’ll face.


Patience. Be patient. When you decide to go towards your goals remember that everything takes time and everything will happen in due time.


Believing that it will all align. Your efforts will align with your goal as time goes by, you will see that your constant and consistent efforts will align all you’ve planned and that’s the beauty of it all.
When things get tougher, remember why you started. This is a process, and there will be challenges that you’d need to overcome it’s okay to feel demotivated but always remember why you started.


If you’re reading this and you have been thinking of an idea but didn’t know how to execute it? Do your research, find the purpose of why doing this will mean a lot to you and start going towards your goals.


We’re all capable and all will come together in it’s own time.


Til next time! Keep well!

Sunflower

By Lindiwe


A lot in common we really have.
We both have our days where we as beautiful as we can be, and we capable of showing it off
And there’s days where we are just laid back
Interpreting that wind in every direction, very subtle, very calm
The slow frequency running through our delicate souls heals us
It takes us where we always go when we done blooming
A place of self-realization, of self-discovery
Because a journey that ends with blossoming should be one that always has a great start

Love Again

By Lindiwe

It’s been a few long weeks, I have lost count of the days and each day is just the same as yesterday.


It’s been a few good weeks since I had promised myself to be consistent at blogging and practice my writing skills and surprisingly since I had made that decision, I have been more at ease. I can channel my thoughts better and that gives me more space to now focus on aspects of my life better, self improve and tell you guys exactly how I have been doing just that!
And I just thought that today I can cover how exactly I’ve learned to love, forgive and love myself AGAIN.


This hasn’t been easy for me personally because everytime I tried to be consist through it all, I’d fall in and out of feeding myself with negative thoughts, toxic habits, wallowing in self pity, and just being all I wanted to stop being.


But ever since I started unpacking on this platform, the support and love I have received has been amazing. And it hit me that I should start showing this love I’m getting from most of you to myself, and I’m doing well.
I started affirmations in the morning, such as:

  • My life is full of abundance
  • My actions bring me closer to abundance
  • I experience gratitude for everything I have in my life

  • I then started a routine, this is actually ideal when you’re battling with a mental illness, a morning routine. I have been doing this for a week and I feel very great. Waking up, stretching, drinking water, do yoga, eat then get into some work can help improve your self esteem and automatically make you feel better than when I just jumped on social media right after I’ve woken up.

  • I started showing myself love and respect, and I affirm myself that I am beautiful, smart, enough, vibrant, talented, full of life. The love and support you show yourself is very important for yourself, say it over and over again until it’s second nature for you to think like that. Be kind to your mind,body and soul.

  • Forgiveness, forgiving yourself and letting go. Let go of all of the regrets and forgive yourself for all the times you have disappointed yourself, you’ve let down yourself, you’ve looked down on yourself. Yes it has happened but dwelling on it does not help you, it pulls you down, it weighs down on your soul. Let go, start over, feel free again – feel again. You deserve to live with no regrets, we’ll be given a chance again.
    These have helped and I hope that they can help anybody who needed to hear this.
    You are enough, you are gold, you are love.
    Til next time! Keep well!

State of softness

By Lindiwe


It’s been a few years since I’ve had realizations that have shifted my perspective and made me realise why my life was always so stagnant.


I’ve been battling with low self esteem for most of my life and it has been a difficult journey. It has seemed as though everything was just a lot, and I had seem to condition myself that being on myself had to be the only way I could move forward. I would only do things to distract myself from the awful thoughts of not being enough and trying to be something I’m not.


And also as you know this DOES lead to a whole lot of unhappiness?


That’s exactly what happened. Constant self doubt, constant self harm to my mental health. This lasted for years and towards the rest of the years it all got unbearable.
And that’s where I realised that I needed to change because it was hindering my progress and after a few consultations with myself I realised that the real problem lied in the way I had spoken to myself and about myself. It all started with how I had spoken to myself, the way I touched myself, the way I looked at myself.


The real secret was being mindful, affirmation, and choosing yourself each day. That’s the secret.


Mindfulness
Being mindful of not putting yourself down staying positive and constantly appreciating yourself and your achievements. Always setting your goals on what you’ve achieved and still want to achieve.


Reaffirmation
Telling yourself that you CAN AND YOU WILL. Telling yourself that you are wholesome, that you are and you will be all you want to be.


Choosing yourself
Choose yourself, choose yourself over and over again. Make the conscious decision to show yourself love everyday. Go on dates with yourself, do things that affirm you – that relax you.
I’ve been doing all of this for a while now and it’s been beautiful, days have been easier. I’m yet to have such beautiful moments with myself.
Til next time! Keep Well!

Just A Flower

By Lindiwe

#Poetry #blogger

I am in this gloomy room
I got here just yesterday
My new owner says I look beautiful
I can believe that
I think she’s beautiful too
She says I smell good and I believe that
She’s a good person
So perfect
She’s what I am every time I am watered
Radiant
She feels like home, she is home
In her possession I will always feel wanted
She makes me feel wanted
It’s my second day and she’s taking pictures right beside me
She has watered me; I look as beautiful as her
She looks like everything is going to be okay
She’s the pillar of strength one meets once in a lifetime
There’s so much love and life in her
It shows on her skin, her smile
I am just a flower but it’s rare to find somebody who’s always in their raw form
I’m just a flower.

Remember, take it easy

By Lindiwe

It’s been a few weeks since we were told to self isolate leading up to a lockdown and immediately this had a toll on my mental health. I was overwhelmed at how fast things were moving, how fast my life was changing.


I then tried to get the best of it all and tried self care routines,exercising, planning my reading times and blogging times. Well let’s say I really tried to do all of this.
In the first week I was still trying to make sense of it all, an hour at a time. I tried sticking to the schedule that I had drafted for myself.


One hour at a time I took it. And I did try to stick to the schedule.
But I just couldn’t. All I wanted to do was lay around, nap and do absolutely nothing. I didn’t want to be productive or learn something or even start a new habit in the first 21 days. I didn’t want none of that. It was overwhelming that I tried to not overcome the fear and uncertainty I was feeling and I tried distracting myself with schedules and tried to overcome it all.
I tried, but the depressed me just took over. I wanted sleep to get over it all.


But amidst all of that, I was very sad for not achieving my weekly goals because I chose sleep over productivity. I felt sad about that because this is probably the last time I’ll get this much free time ever again.
So I beat myself up for it over and over again, and in the second week I drafted a new schedule and new weekly goals. And that week I chose both sleep and productivity and I got to achieve half of my weekly goals.


In the third week I was calmer, more clearer of my head space so I didn’t draw up any weekly goals, I still chose sleep and productivity simultaneously – some days I chose neither. Some days I was okay with staring into space and scrolling on social media and interacting with friends to even care of what I need to enhance about myself in this time.


Right there and then, I realized that it’s okay. It’s okay to do whatever you want to do in this uncertain times. You don’t need to learn anything new, you don’t need to form new habits. It’s okay to rest, it’s okay to sleep. It’s okay. Don’t pressure yourself, you’ll get up when you feel the need to for yourself in your own time. Always take it easy.


Remember, do what makes you most happiest.


Til next time, keep well!

Importance of unpacking

The importance of unpacking – By Lindiwe


We often hear that communication is key to solving all corners our lives and helping us strength our relations with people as we always need to be honest and upfront with our feelings and intentions.


And this is something I have been struggling with for most times in my life, being upfront – being intentional.


I’ve always felt as if being too open with people and being too truthful will open room for vulnerability and that can be used against me. I had ruined too many relations because I had always distanced myself to avoid feeling as though I’m over relying on anybody to help me with my true feelings of what may have been happening in my life then. I did not see the need to speak or effectively communicate.


Well until I met my current partner and right there and then I discovered a new world of what it is to understand and to be understood. I must say I didn’t know how to not fight with my words and actions when I had been wronged, I did not know how to keep calm even in commotion.


I realised that I had to realise one thing, that distancing myself in attempt to fix my life and not bother anybody with my problems made me feel frustrated and even more lonely than ever before.


Communication and apprehension have been the biggest priority in my life ever since I realised that if I want to keep moving in my life and to keep the beautiful people in my life I had to keep that going by constantly sharing what I want to share with them and also understanding then when they have things to tell me.


There’s progression in being calm and being able to speak to yourself about your life and other people. There’s progressing in knowing that isolating yourself would only make it feel better for a while but not in the long run.


We as humans need each other, listen to other people and be intentional and most importantly know that you do not have to go through this life thing alone.
Til next time, Keep Well!

And once again we give thanks

And once again we give thanks – Lindiwe


“Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life” – Rumi


We often get caught up in our mandness and the clutters of life and we forget to listen and give a chance to be grateful.
Being grateful brings more blessings and helps with manifestations, for what you are grateful for, you will still be grateful for what is to come.


And that’s the beauty of gratitude, the sense of thanking the universe for what is here, and thanking it for what is yet to come.
Therefore we should look into our lives and everyday be grateful for what we have, to be grateful for our health, our family, another day to live, the opportunities that always unfold before our very eyes. And everyday we should express our gratitude to maintain a positive attitude and to try to see the good out of life.


“The secret to having it all is already knowing that you do” -Unknown


Belief and constantly manifesting the reality that I want is something that I do almost everytime, and I’ve had some of my manifestations come to life and it always feel surreal.


But I always remember that if it is meant for me it will come and it will last. And I’ll forever be grateful to the universe for what it provides and what it will continue to provide.


When we realise how we are constantly grateful for the things that we have, we open up doors and make manifest more positive behaivour and attitudes into our lives.
So, what are you grateful for today?

Rose In The Dark

Rose in The Dark – By Lindiwe
This review about Cleo Sol’s new release “A Rose In The Dark” that excited her fans including myself late March.
I personally discovered Cleo on the Colors show when she performed her EP(Winter Songs) top charter “Why Don’t You?” in 2017 and right there and then I was blown away.
Cleo always wows her fans with an 80s/90s aesthetic that follows in her music to the way that she dresses. She is known for her contemporary songs/acoustic songs that fall in the contemporary RnB and Neo Soul music genre.


Moving to her first ever album — “Rose In The Dark”, It’s safe to say that sis delivered hey! After her singles last year that also did well on YouTube, “Sweet Blue ” & “One” , I’d love to share that this album was definitely worth a listen.


This is mostly because of the way she kept on delivering very important and sentimental messages throughout the entire in the album and the acoustic feel complemented the entire purpose in the album, and I couldn’t be more happier.
To my favourite song in the album ” Butterfly”, the message conveyed in the song is that we should always keep the faith even though things don’t always in our favour and to never give up on ourselves and our dreams.


That message right there exactly what some of us should remember and keep to ourselves for as long as we possibly can, that even though things don’t go in your favour whenever you want them to, keep within faith and remind yourself that everything happens for a reason and faith is what will keep us growin, eventually the dreams will unfold right there and then.
And “Butterfly” Cleo Sol’s album is my new favourite piece of music and if you have heard the album before, let me know which song spoke to you and why. If you haven’t listened to the album, what on earth on are you waiting for!??


For my next review I’ve got in mind another up and coming vocalist and I’m so excited for this one.
Keep tuned. til next time, keep well!

Self Doubt and Losing Direction

Greetings and welcome to other one of my blog posts after going MIA for a few weeks (It’s been a nightmare!) , but that brings me to this conversation — self doubt and losing direction.
I have been battling with this for a while now and it’s something that has affected me in many ways.

This limits your capabilities, it impacts your mental health and you just don’t trust yourself the way you are supposed to any longer.
I must say that I experience self doubt and imposter syndrome simultaneously and I never really believe that I can own that sense of greatness in me. I sometimes don’t believe it’s my work that I write. And for a while I have let it consume me, and sometimes it still does.
That’s where the sense of lost direction just comes into a place, ugh this is a lot now isn’t it? It is, it’s even more overwhelming when you want to do something or you want to follow a certain path but yet the process escapes you.
Now, this is why I’m always in and out of reach with my art creation. Self doubt that in the process makes me lose the path I set myself on. This is the nightmare.
I have googled so many ways to get over this and I haven’t found anything that has worked for me using that platform. So right there and then I made a few adjustments in my life and the way I do things that can help me with this situation and I hope that they can work for you too.

  1. Journaling – I use this as a coping tool, it gives me freedom to express myself without feeling like I’ll be judged, it gives me freedom to be myself and be in touch with my genuine self.
  2. Meditating – I use this to tap into my connection with the universe and to get my mind to be as still as I possibly can and reminding myself that I can be all I want whenever I need to be.
  3. Doing tasks that can make me feel good about myself: better known as self care. Reading books, listening to loud music, dancing freely, take long baths, check up on friends, watch series. All that is rewarding to myself, an instant mood lifter.
    But at the end of day we should look into ourselves, and remind ourselves that we can achieve all we can if we can put our mind to it. I’ve been trying to do that, to remind myself that I’m worthy of all I’ve achieved and all I can still achieve.
    I want to turn this self doubt to self confidence, it’s been and it’s still going to be a difficult journey, but I believe it can still happen.
    Thank you for reading. If you’d love to share some tips on how we can get over this please reach out on my instagram or twitter.
    Til next time, take care!

Release all fear, spread your wings

Release all fear, spread your wings – By Lindiwe

A while ago I had written a poem about fulfillment, letting go and letting happiness find us. For many of you, you know that poems within that theme are my “go to” particularly because I still am trying to let go and let happiness find me and to be at peace.
We are somehow always held back by something from our past even without us realising it. We subconsciously allow our fears take over parts of our lives we’re not even aware of. And when we realise how much we’ve constricted ourselves is when we realise all opportunities that we let slip by because we were scared, because we did not trust ourselves enough.
I’ve been trying to unlearn the fear of the unknown and letting the unknown determine my response for the present, why should I deprive myself of an opportunity just because I do not know what the future entails? I needed to remind myself that self trust should be a big part of emotional being, everything I do needs me to trust myself and what I want to create or manifest into my everyday being.
I needed to pinpoint where was this fear coming from and what caused it, and what about it I needed to change and then write down steps on how I unlearn this. A vision board of me achieving things I never thought I would and work towards that while motivating myself daily and reminding myself that fear doesn’t win, but the person does.
That’s when the fulfilment creeps in, you feel lighter, fuller, ready to achieve more. Where you allow yourself to appreciate what you do, applauding yourself for achieving all you thought you couldn’t do.
Remember to be vulnerable with yourself and trust your instincts, know when you are trusting your instinct and when you are just scared to take up an opportunity.
In esssence, there wasn’t much I wanted to say on this post – it was a reminder to myself and maybe to yourself that we are so much more, we deserve so much more and we can achieve so much. Don’t limit yourself, never limit what you can do, don’t let fear take over.
This is it from me. Til next time, keep well!

The poem I wrote a while ago about letting go and letting love find us

Mind Over Matter

Mind Over Matter – By Lindiwe

This is my second post on this blog and I’m excited for this conversation, it’s about how to be mindful and all I’ve learned on my journey to not stop believing in myself and what I desire.
There are times where we often feel as though we may not be doing enough to reach our goals or we not doing enough to get where we think we’re supposed to be. Now this was me, completely — Often times I would completely withdraw from reality and do as little as possible, so I wouldn’t feel bad for not being close to where I wanted , I made it okay to be inconsistent or to just not be present in my goals.
Until I practiced mindfulness and believing in myself and the things that I’ve always wanted to do. How does one practice mindfulness ? Personally, it was about self awareness and learning how to be present in moments or care about my way of being and my surroundings, it was about being committed to everything I’m doing and slowing down on all the things that made me rush my success, that meant eliminating things such as social media or social spaces that did not benefit me or what I wanted to be all about. It was a path on realising that I can not go on the way I already am.
Craving for growth and realising all your heart desires is the step of taking control, always look for opportunities to grow – to grow emotionally and mentally.
Since we all tend to backtrack on our mental and our growth, we should leave room for that to happen without us feeling bad about it but noticing the times you feel otherwise and working towards getting out of that state of mind.
And remember to breathe right? Always pay attention to your breathing and doing a bit of exercises to help you keep calm and see things in a better light to help you keep your mind in the present, without it wandering around the past or the unexpected future.
And I’ll close it off by reminding us to keep a time schedule where we allocate enough time to rest and focus on things that make us happy such as listening to music, reading, mindful walking, drawing, or just journaling.
Lastly I would like to say that, we should give ourselves time. We will do our best and we will make our dreams come true. Check up on your mind amd body states all the way.
That’s it from me. Until next time, Keep well!

Raveena’s Soft Magic

Ravenna’s Soft Magic – By Lindiwe


This is my first blog post and I am so happy to present my first music review, and for the next weeks to come I’ll be doing more reviews, poetry, poetry book reviews and content on social media.


So let’s get to it! Yes,Raveena’s soft magic. It’s interesting that I got to know Raveena through her Colors performance on YouTube which has over 4 million views currently and that is totally well deserved. She wowed me with the passion in her voice, and her intention for love and softness.
I have been listening to her music, her latest music being the Moonstone EP (check it out, and I’ll review it later 😉 ) and I’ll start by reviewing the Shanti EP, the EP that EP about love, heartbreak, one’s intentions.
The EP has one of her biggest songs which was performed on the colours show “If Only” she swept me on my feet about how she’s getting over her lover and how it’s too late to make amends she has moved on, amazing contrast to the “Wherever U Go” song where she speaks about attachment to her lover and whatever they go she’ll definitely be there.
Shanti is about love, the good sides of love, the “I’m so whipped” love and the “I’m in love with you but I’m also letting you go” love, which is a true reality to many people seeking or harboring love. We all sometimes long for love to be our safe place for as long as it can, to keep us away from the darkness and keep our hearts warm, but knowing the possibility that it can all end when least expected.
In Raveena’s Shanti EP this is the reality and mood that she takes us through, the thrill, the sadness, the shattered emotions but all in softness. There is a lot of relatability and everyone can have their own beautiful interpretation of it all, and in essence I’ve learned that love is amazing, fruitful and abundant and that everybody deserves some love whenever, wherever.
I will be reviewing an album next week, maybe the Moonstone EP by Raveena? I don’t know but you can hit me up on Instagram and suggest an album or EP that would like me to review (handle: @lindiwe.e) until next time, keep well!